so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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