Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize