the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
