Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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