My first STD was from a foam party
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
