I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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