I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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