And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
They have beer where we have blood.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
