Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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