Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize