We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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