and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
