Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
