O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
