Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize