maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
