I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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