brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress