OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
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I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
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I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.