The maid of honor just puked.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges