Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
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I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.