Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.