Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too