In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
