You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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