Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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