im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
