So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my being single is dangerous.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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