I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
