I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
