Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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