It's Friday. Sex?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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