So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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