My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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