i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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