i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize