And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
