You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
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this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
soo... how was my night?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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