He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
