how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
