Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
