The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
