Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
