You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
