your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
