We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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