I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize