Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
