New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
