billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Found your dick twin last night
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
