i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
