hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
