I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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