This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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