that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
