need another drink. this is the easiest way
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Mom said you looked used
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
