he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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