quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
