WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she told me i tasted like america
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
