I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Found the puke drawer
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
