Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As shirtless as possible
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
