I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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