She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
